Chero Chero!

It’s Not Easy To Find Someone Who…

… wants you for who you are

… accepts all your quirks and randomness

… thinks you are pretty amazing

… cooks for you

… brings you to Ikea just because you suddenly felt like eating Ikea meatballs

… carries your heavy Locomotion and Digestion books for you and when you forget to get them back for classes the following day, brings them back for you that night itself

… doesn’t mind waiting for you

… eats spicy food with you because you love spicy food even though he doesn’t

… walks you back everytime

… takes care of you when you are sick

… carries you despite your protests that you are heavy and puts you on his lap

…tries to restore your faith in relationships

… shaves a lot more frequently because you like clean-shaven guys

… accompanies you to meet someone in the city because he worries about you going back alone at night

And the best part is, I did not even purposely try to find that person =D


Whoosh How Ironic

It’s so weird that once I make up my mind that singledom is best for me this happens =S

OMG should I go? Whatever entails would be so much more complicated and confusing and possibly heartbreaking but then when it works you feel so happy and contented…kinda like doing algebra, or C++ sighh

Maybe I’m thinking too much about it and the truth is it’s nothing like what I imagine it’s gonna be. It could be just 2 friends going out…yupyup, that’s it

We’ll just see how it goes hey

update: tak jadi cos no more dimsum after 3pm lol

Pffft..Ode To Singledom

It took me such a long time to finally understand the merits of singledom.

Before I came here my mum aunts etc kept asking me too ‘look out for good guys’ lol I don’t know why they are so kancheong…I am not even 20 yet afterall. So anyway…of course that was quite programmed in my mind..I mean, new place, new people…something could indeed happen. And when nothing did, of course there was the frusfration and the helplessness and the embarassment. And in an ironic twist, it took me the observation of an ex and his girlfriend to finally, FINALLY understand that being in a relationship isn’t all it’s hyped up to be, when in my mind being in a relationship is the best and I always lamented about singledom even when my coupled friends tell me that if they could choose they would want to be single now.

When I see how he treats her sometimes I get quite upset…she is such a good girl and deserves so much more…so many people think so. It hurts me to see her apologizing for things that are not her fault, or always being so forgiving, or always acting different in front of us and in front of him. Sigh it is none of my concern and I’m sorry for being kaypo, but she is my close friend and I just do not enjoy looking at her upset because of him.

Seriously though, I ask myself how the hell did I ever like/love him whenever he treats her crappily. Could it have been the looks? Now I feel that he was so vain and way too proud of the looks. Could it have been the wisecracks? They just sound annoying and discriminating now. I reckon I finally can see him for who he is now that I’m not blinded too…but maybe I’m too biased now too. Sigh…who needs a boyfriend anyway..sure it’s sweet and aww and I love you baby and kissing is fun and so is making out but I reckon trading that for freedom and going out with whoever I want and doing whatever I want and not need to report to anyone is awesome too. One thing crappy about being single is feeling like the fifth wheel whenever you are with your coupled friends though.

Anyway, these are just my thoughts that I very foolishly published to the whole freaking world wtf. So sorry if I’ve offended anyone

A Story

Once upon a time there were two friends named Charlotte and Karen. They were so close that they treated each other like sisters, and they even lived together.

Charlotte and Orson were in a relationship before but they have since broken up due to ‘irreconcileable differences’- to quote celebrities.

When all 3 of them ended up in the same university, it seemed to Charlotte that it was weird to be at the same place with her ex-boyfriend again, but they managed. And pretty soon they were like normal friends again. Also, Charlotte was glad that at least she ended up in the same place as most of her other college mates.

When Karen and another housemate started acting weird and secretive, Charlotte felt left-out and dismissed it as a figment of her overactive imagination, but a sequence of events followed and Charlotte accidentally found out that Karen liked Orson and vice versa. Also, Orson had asked Karen to be his girlfriend. Charlotte was in shock…she looked shell-shocked which prompted Karen to ask her whether she was okay and whether she wanted to talk about anything. But Charlotte only replied  mechanically that she was fine, all the while thinking to herself ‘I have to act strong and not break down’. Then, Karen said ‘I have something to tell you’ but Charlotte said ‘It’s ok I know I know and quickly left the room’. She then called a friend who said that he would come over. When Karen went to Charlotte’s room to ask her whether she was going out Charlotte said yes and as Karen was approaching Charlotte, Charlotte sub-consciously backed away- she couldn’t face Karen. Not that she still had any feelings left for Orson- that chapter in her life already had a closure, nor was she angry at Karen. But, to Charlotte, Orson could date any girl in the world and she wouldn’t really care (she might jokingly bitch about it with her girlfriends, but it was no big deal), but why one of her bestfriends? She felt betrayed. Utterly and completely betrayed.

When Charlotte’s friend came over. she left with him and went for a walked. She cried, he consoled her; she cursed, he placated her; she talked, he listened. And he made her feel much better. Without talking to him, Charlotte would have ended up as a mess. When Charlotte went back home, she found out that the other housemate was waiting for her and ended up falling asleep on the couch. Karen was sitting at the stairs, looking like she just cried. With false bravado, Charlotte asked the other housemate to go and sleep and told Karen that she was ok and that she needed to get her assignment done. She then escaped to the safe confines of her room and broke down.

The following day, Charlotte found out that while Orson and her were together, Karen had liked him all along. She never showed it and Charlotte never knew until then. Charlotte’s friend Hamish said ‘She never showed her real feelings last time cos she cares for you as a friend, and now it’s your turn to extend the same courtesy to her’ With that in mind, Charlotte talked to Karen and told her that she wasn’t angry at all, and didn’t mean to hurt her. She was just shocked. When Karen replied that she had told Orson a few minutes ago that she was calling it off, Charlotte was quiet. Karen said she didn’t want to be the person who ruined her relationship with Charlotte, and Charlotte’s relationship with Orson. When she asked Karen whether she did in fact still like Orson and Karen said yes, Charlotte surprised herself by saying ‘go for it’ and that she would try her best to be happy for her as she knew how important this was to her. Karen had always said ‘I want a boyfriend I want a boyfriend’. When Charlotte asked whether the reason she told Orson no was because of her, Karen said no, it was that she wasn’t prepared to be in a relationship. With that, and a lot of tears, both girls hugged and all was well again.

Or so Charlotte thought.

The next day when she met Karen in uni, Karen seemed sad but when prompted she said that she was okay. Charlotte then received a text message (I know this story started with ‘once upon a time’ but let’s assume that they texted that time’ from Orson asking where she was and that he wanted to talk to her. When Orson came over, Charlotte told him that she was shocked. But Orson said that she overreacted when she found out and made Karen cry, to which Charlotte replied ‘And I didn’t??’ Charlotte felt that she just needed time to accept the situation. Takkan when she first found out about this she would be happy and laugh and congratulate the both of them?She told him that she didn’t love him anymore and that he could date anyone at all but why did it have to be her best friend? He then incredulously asked ‘Why not???? It wasn’t me who chose’. What then? God??  When Charlotte tried to come up with an analogy Orson said ‘If I was dating my best friend’s ex-girlfriend I’m sure he would be happy for me’ WTF. Dream On. Charlotte thought ‘Why did I ever love this guy? He’s such an insensitive jerk. Anyone else could understand how I feel but why not you’ Charlotte told Orson that at first she was shock but after that she had indeed told Karen that if she liked Orson she should go for it and Charlotte would try to be happy for her. To which Orson replied ‘Don’t you think it’s too late now?’ Charlotte said  ‘Go ask her again’ and walked away. She broked down in front of her other friends who said that Orson was not worth it to cry over. But the thing is, Charlotte didn’t cry over Orson, she cried because she was frusfrated that Orson couldn’t see where she was coming from and that he made it sound as though the reason he was not together with Karen was all Charlotte’s fault. As if he was very tactful about it. As if he wasn’t wrong at all. As if he could come between 2 good friends. As if it wasn’t his doing that strained a perfectly good friendship.

When Charlotte went back home and checked out Karen’s blog (again, assume that people from ‘once upon a time’ had computers and blogs), she found out that she is still very hurt about the whole matter. On her blog, Karen said that she had hurt both Orson and Charlotte. But she herself was also hurt. She had thought that she was strong enough to get over it, but now she wonders how long it would take to heal. When Charlotte saw the words ‘I tell myself, you have given up on him for her, so just follow whatever you have chosen’, she cannot take it anymore. So Karen has been faking that she was okay while she was shattered inside.

Charlotte makes up her mind. She shall talk to Karen again later. And tell her to accept Orson because even though she would be weirded out by it, the friendship between Charlotte and Karen was very important to Charlotte and she wanted to see Karen happy. Even if it might hurt herself.

This story doesn’t have a closure yet

At Last

Honestly, who else stayed up to watch the Inauguration of the 44th president of the US like me? Hehe it was seriously a historical moment =D

I almost cried (there were definitely tears in my eyes lol) when I saw the President dancing the First Dance with the First Lady to Beyonce’s rendition of At Last. At Last is like my all-time-favourite-classic-romantic-song. I never heard the whole song before this but this song makes lots of appearances in various rom-coms. And everytime I listen to this song in movies (most probably at the end where there’s dancing between the main characters and the end up kissing to the soaring music of At Last) I will inevitably cry. Haha yea cry baby I am. When If I ever get married, I want this song to be the main one whereby the bride and groom take their first dance. Lol I’m such a hopeless romantic =P

All together now ‘AWWWW’ shoshweet OMG the way the danced and looked at each other. Wow. ❤

A Sudden Moment Of Clarity

made me realise that I would be okay and that all my ranting posts are actually helping me to let go

Sure, I do still think of him sometimes, but I’m human after all

My heart feels so much lighter already =D

This Feels Like A Cruel Joke

I googled ‘cruel joke’ and this is what I got…OMG so cute >.<

But yea, before I digress any further…point is, we ended up in the same uni (!!!!!!!). I completely freaked out when I found out.

Sure, when we were together of course I did hope that we would end up in the same place. Me being so idealistic and all. But now that we are not, it just seems like a cruel joke. You know how people always say ‘be careful what you wish for, cos you just might get it all?’ so true.

I’m scared. Of course I want us to continue to be friends even after we broke up. And of course I’m still not totally over it. But that’s the thing, I’m afraid that with just a little bit of normal interaction all the weeks of trying to let go would be just a waste and I’d end up head-over-heels in love again. Unrequited love. The type of love that tears you up inside because you know how wrong you are for each other and yet that still doens’t change how you feel. The type of love that gives the other person all the power to hurt you. If anybody had pulled up all my guts and twisted it using a fork and stomped all over it (Ok this is getting gross), it would not have hurt as bad. At the same time I don’t want us to avoid each other and act as if we don’t know each other.I want us to be normal and revert to how we were before we ended up tigether. I mean, for God’s sake, we’re not 12 anymore.

Sorry for all the ranting. But seriously though, before all of us found out where we were going, Mum asked me whether I’d be fine if we ended up in the same uni and I confidently ‘Duh’-ed her. In the ‘puhhleeez I’m grown-up about it’ kinda way. Ha. Ha.

I pour all my feelings here. It’s dangerous I know…but let’s face it, who reads my blog anyway. Right?

Hmm since I got what I wished, maybe I should wish more. And be more careful about it. Also, since what Mum said turned up to be true, I should ask her to say cool stuff. Hehe =)

Oh Fly FM, Why Art Thou Doing This To Me?

Do you hear me,
Talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky, oh my, baby I’m trying

Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard

Lucky I’m in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

They don’t know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I’ll wait for you I promise you, I will

Lucky I’m in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Lucky we’re in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

And so I’m sailing through the sea
To an island where we’ll meet
You’ll hear the music fill the air
I’ll put a flower in your hair

Though the breezes through trees
Move so pretty you’re all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now

Lucky I’m in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Lucky we’re in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Ooooh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

Fly FM seems to be playing this song alot recently. Case in point: I heard in thrice a few days ago…and that was just by being in the car! Sighh every word of this song resonates with something inside me. Listening to it always, ALWAYS reminds me of him.

It’s not healthy, I know, but I can’t let go…yet.

I completely overestimated by ability to let go and forget. Turns out when you really fell so deep and when you really cared so much it’s not that easy.

Love At First Sight

Sure, the sceptic in all of us will attest that ‘Hell no! There’s no such thing as love at first sight’ but I’m going to prove you wrong because I’m in love- truly, madly, deeply with

*drumroll please*

EDWARD CULLEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I know…*yawns* right? Because seriously, which straight girl isn’t?)


Sheesh why are brooding guys so freaking hawt??? Sorry Chace Crawford haha

Imma in awe of total complete absurd hotness, or coldness, which ever way you see it

Edward Cullen-Yes

Robert Pattinson- No

wtf =.=

Ewww get anti-perspirant or something

Dammit I’m in love with a fictional character! I remember laughing at Pinky for having a crush on Harry Potter when we were really young haha. Incidentally, both of us got really high whenever Edward appeared on the screen in ‘Twilight’ and I’m pretty sure the guys we were with laughed at us >.<

“Bite me Edward”

The Dream

Him. Again.

Face. Voice. Smile. Touch. Hands intertwined.

Is it not enough that my every free waking moment is dominated by random thoughts of him that I can’t just wish away?

Torment is me.