This Feels Like A Cruel Joke

I googled ‘cruel joke’ and this is what I got…OMG so cute >.<

But yea, before I digress any further…point is, we ended up in the same uni (!!!!!!!). I completely freaked out when I found out.

Sure, when we were together of course I did hope that we would end up in the same place. Me being so idealistic and all. But now that we are not, it just seems like a cruel joke. You know how people always say ‘be careful what you wish for, cos you just might get it all?’ so true.

I’m scared. Of course I want us to continue to be friends even after we broke up. And of course I’m still not totally over it. But that’s the thing, I’m afraid that with just a little bit of normal interaction all the weeks of trying to let go would be just a waste and I’d end up head-over-heels in love again. Unrequited love. The type of love that tears you up inside because you know how wrong you are for each other and yet that still doens’t change how you feel. The type of love that gives the other person all the power to hurt you. If anybody had pulled up all my guts and twisted it using a fork and stomped all over it (Ok this is getting gross), it would not have hurt as bad. At the same time I don’t want us to avoid each other and act as if we don’t know each other.I want us to be normal and revert to how we were before we ended up tigether. I mean, for God’s sake, we’re not 12 anymore.

Sorry for all the ranting. But seriously though, before all of us found out where we were going, Mum asked me whether I’d be fine if we ended up in the same uni and I confidently ‘Duh’-ed her. In the ‘puhhleeez I’m grown-up about it’ kinda way. Ha. Ha.

I pour all my feelings here. It’s dangerous I know…but let’s face it, who reads my blog anyway. Right?

Hmm since I got what I wished, maybe I should wish more. And be more careful about it. Also, since what Mum said turned up to be true, I should ask her to say cool stuff. Hehe =)

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